When women go all the way - financially

3/06/11: When women go all the way financially - I got an SMS from an associate the other day listing all the expenses she is paying out for her husband and her children. The only issue is she and her husband have been separated for over six years. The husband is in financial difficulties and in start up mode in a new company – as he has been for the last decade. It struck me how many women are out there doing it honourably for their men.

Right now in Australia, there are hundreds of high profile women (high profile couples) earning solid salaries with steady jobs where the women are supporting their men. Of course for every woman doing this, there are equal men supporting their women financially, as a male friend lamented to me the other night. But what is it that makes women feel it’s Ok to finance their men? Even when in not quite so straightforward circumstances? Where is the role of carer, nurturer these days? Is gender no longer an issue? Where do financial responsibilities lie?

A lawyer girl friend informed me, when women continually pay, it is usually for love – and involves high emotion. If it’s not for love, it can be to retain control or power. And well sometimes it is because they simply can’t afford for their reputations to be tarnished by association with a partner in financial difficulties.

And that’s where the combination of money and love becomes so complex. But then, there have certainly been times in my life when I’ve been happy to help – as well as be helped – for love. Trust, self respect and self protection are vital. One of my girlfriends stands firm on the issue “If finances aren’t equal, it will never work”. What are your thoughts and experiences?

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