The Jackie O and Pru Goward motherhood debate is sickening

20/04/11: The Jackie O and Pru Goward motherhood debate is sickening

I'm not going to discuss the specifics of the Jackie O and Pru Goward incident and their comments this week around Jackie feeding her baby while crossing the road or the resulting witch hunt and commentary against both women. Why? Because I empathise with both women's points of view and to comment means I join the contentious bandwagon of criticism and negativity that is a revelation in itself.

Further damning the condemnation by a mostly female audience about the behaviour of two other women? Give me a break! Oh and while we're on the subject, give Pru a break and give Jackie a break.

I have three beautiful, challenging kids and I clearly remember the organised chaos, meltdowns and joys of having two babies under 18 months. Geez, I sure was lucky not to have some paparazzi camera catch all the times I slipped up on the "health and safety" or plain "commonsense" act of motherhood and rearing children.

Yep, I had a business and a hubby who travelled, with no family here in Australia. But am I heroine? No way! Thousands of mothers are bringing up kids in a whole range of circumstances all over the world.

It's what, if we have the privilege of raising children, we do. Women, if we choose to act on it, are genetically programmed to produce babies. Guys can't do it. And on the whole, in the Western world we have the joys (with some exceptions due to medical difficulties, and in which case my thoughts are with you) of choice and control in becoming mothers. That's not nearly the case in Third World countries where even a woman's right to control her own body in terms of contraception and childbirth is denied.

I don't think there is anything superhuman about combining work and motherhood as opposed to focusing on one.

Women have been juggling and balancing their responsibilities since the beginning of time — in the cave. Does that mean it's easy? Of course not. Does that mean it is smooth and trouble-free? Of course not. Does that mean we have the ideal support and environments to bring children up peacefully, without drama? Of course not. Does it mean that mixing work and babies is easy? Of course not. Does it mean that focusing on just one of those is easy? Of course not.

Hello. The world isn't a perfect place. But we should work together constructively to build a better environment and not cut people down — whoever they are.

Today, with the divorce rate, a lot of dads are juggling their responsibilities in similar ways. Yes mothers are fantastic, as are dads. Let's give each other a break.

Take a look at the strain that was on Jackie's face in the photograph that sparked the debate. And if you haven't seen it, she was photographed as she fed her baby in her arms as she walked across a pedestrian crossing. It makes me want to hug her — even if what she was doing appears unsafe to some and that her child Kitty may have taken a nasty knock if mum had tripped and fallen on the road. But there is always a chance when carrying babies that a fall could result in injury for both mum and bub.

I don't need to be called anything. Let alone be held up as some Wonder Woman just for being a mother. I know just how clever and not clever I am in my mothering ability and I remain immensely glad and proud to have been born a woman.

So let's unite. Yes, I said unite, to continue to champion a better support community for parents. Let's work towards flexible working arrangements, tolerance and creating environments that make it easy for mothers and fathers. Let's work to educate and create environments that are conducive to healthy child rearing and giving mothers the understanding that our crazy material-driven civilisation drives away.

If we as women were taught in schools more on how to adapt to motherhood in the limitations and environment of our fast-paced society, it would be a good thing.

And let's get off the bandwagon of igniting to criticise one woman over another and join together in peace.

Go Jackie O. Rest up, be gentle on yourself and enjoy your time with your bub.

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